Albert Belle and other Lovers

Ben Godar

Even with pitchers and catchers reporting to camp, the most amusing story to come out of Scottsdale this week had Albert Belle playing James Bond.

The former slugger was arrested on suspicion of stalking his girlfriend with a GPS system, which he allegedly fastened to the bottom of her car. Stalking and making threats are no laughing matter, but I couldn't help but chuckle at the image of Belle on his back attaching the device to the car. And the fact that it reportedly fell off suggests Belle's rigging consisted of chicken wire and Elmer's glue.

Coming on the heels of Hallmark's St. Valentine's Day, the whole incident got me thinking about ballplayers who have been unlucky in love. In a world where pretty young things seem to rain from the sky, I guess it just stands out when an athlete goes down in flames. But at least it provides some entertainment.

In 1978, Red Sox officials learned Dennis Eckersley's wife was having an affair with the center fielder, also Eck's best friend. As the story goes, the team chose to diffuse the situation by shipping Eckersley out of town. Perhaps the whole thing could have been resolved amicably if Rick Manning had traded a lady friend as well. That's what happened in 1973, when Yankee pitchers Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekitch traded catchers, moving in with each other's wife and children.

Then there's Red Sox Hall of Famer Wade Boggs, who had a taste for more than just fried chicken on the road. The married Boggs was sued by a woman who claimed she was his "road mistress" for four years.

While Boggs kept on playing long after admitting he was a "sex addict," Poor Denny Neagle's career came to an end over a $40 hummer. Even more unfortunate than the involuntary retirement are the published photos of the trailer court queen Neagle solicited.

But as embarrassing as Neagle's pay-for-play scandal, it's nothing compared to when Dave Stewart pulled to the curb. The former A's ace was arrested in downtown LA in 1985 after picking up a tranny named "Lucille." Stewart claimed he had no idea that she was a he, apparently assuming it was just another 6' 3" lady with a pronounced adam's apple.

But unlike Neagle, Stewart went on to pitch for ten more years and lead the A's to a World Championship. Which just goes to show that for all the "morals clauses", what really matters is what happens on the field.

Happy Valentine's Day.